Attachment-Based Therapy for Complex Trauma and Dissociation in Brisbane & Online Througout Australia
Healing attachment trauma through the body's wisdom and relational connection.
Relationships have been the place where youāve been hurt the most.
You don't feel like yourself anymore, or maybe you've never really known who "yourself" is supposed to be.
Trusting others feels dangerous. Getting close to anyone brings up fear, and the thought of being truly vulnerable makes you want to run.
You find yourself disconnecting without meaning to, going numb, spacing out, or feeling like you're watching your life from the outside.
Your emotions can shift in an instant. One moment you're fine, the next you're flooded with feelings or memories that seem to come out of nowhere.
You're constantly on guard, waiting for something to go wrong. Relaxation feels foreign. Joy feels fleeting.
You don't fully understand why you react the way you do, and that leaves you feeling confused and disconnected from yourself.
You're tired of walking on eggshells in your relationships, never able to truly let your guard down or be yourself.
You keep saying yes when you want to say no. You overextend, overcompensate, and carry more than your shareāyet somehow, you still feel invisible.
You think about setting boundaries, but then the fear kicks in: What if they get upset? What if they leave? What if I'm not strong enough?
Family gatherings and holidays feel complicated and painful. You've set boundaries to protect yourself, but the pressure to pretend everything's fine is overwhelming.
Trauma doesn't just live in the past, it shapes how you move through the present.
And maybe for you, there wasn't even a "before" to go back to. Maybe this is all you've known.
But here's what I know: You deserve to feel safer in safer relationships.
Not just functional. Not just surviving.
You deserve relationships built on trust, not fear. A nervous system that feels safe, not constantly braced for impact. A life where you're no longer shrinking yourself to fit into spaces that were never meant for you.
And that kind of healing is possible to work towards.
What is Attachment-Based Therapy?
Attachment-based therapy recognizes that our earliest relational experiences fundamentally shape how we relate to ourselves and others throughout our lives. According to attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth and others, the emotional bonds we form with primary caregivers create templates for all future relationships.
When children experience consistent, attuned caregiving, they develop secure attachment, a foundation that supports emotional regulation, resilience, and the capacity for intimate connection. However, when caregiving is inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, frightening, or neglectful, children develop insecure attachment patterns as adaptive survival strategies.
Attachment-based therapy for complex trauma addresses the developmental impacts of disrupted early relationships. This approach understands that chronic relational trauma during critical developmental periods affects:
Nervous system regulation: Without consistent co-regulation from caregivers, children don't develop the capacity to self-soothe or modulate intense emotions
Sense of self: The capacity for integrated self-awareness depends on being seen, mirrored, and validated by attuned caregivers
Relational patterns: Early attachment experiences create implicit expectations about whether others can be trusted and whether our needs matter
Capacity for connection: When attachment figures are sources of fear rather than safety, the nervous system becomes oriented toward protection rather than connection
The goal of attachment-based therapy is to provide the developmental experiences you needed but lacked in childhood. Through a secure therapeutic relationship, you can develop what researchers call "earned secure attachment", the capacity to regulate emotions, trust others, and form meaningful intimate relationships, even when early experiences were marked by trauma.
How Does Attachment-Based & Relational Therapy Work?
Attachment-based therapy is grounded in three core phases of trauma treatment, a framework supported by contemporary trauma research and clinical practice:
Phase 1: Establishing Safety and Stabilization
The first phase focuses on creating safety, both in the therapeutic relationship and within your own nervous system. This includes:
Building a secure therapeutic relationship that can serve as a corrective relational experience
Developing awareness of your unique attachment patterns and how they served you in childhood
Learning nervous system regulation skills through somatic awareness and grounding techniques
Identifying resources and supports that enhance your capacity for managing distress
Understanding your internal system, particularly if you experience dissociation or distinct parts of self
This phase is collaborative and paced according to your nervous system's capacity. Safety is not something that can be rushedāit must be established through consistent, attuned relational experience.
Phase 2: Processing and Integration
Once sufficient stabilization has been established, therapy moves toward processing attachment wounds and developmental trauma. This includes:
Working with the underlying unmet needs that caused adaptive patterns to develop
Processing traumatic memories and experiences that remain unintegrated in the nervous system
Exploring how early relational experiences created implicit beliefs about self, others, and relationships
Addressing dissociative processes and supporting communication between different parts of self
Utilizing somatic approaches to work with trauma held in the body
This phase involves titrated, mindful exploration of painful material, always within the window of tolerance your nervous system can manage. The therapeutic relationship provides the secure base from which this exploration becomes possible.
Phase 3: Integration and Consolidation
The final phase focuses on integrating new relational capacities into your daily life. This includes:
Consolidating earned secure attachment patterns
Developing more flexible responses in relationships
Practicing new ways of communicating needs and boundaries
Building and maintaining connections outside of therapy
Strengthening your capacity to repair relational ruptures
Integration is an ongoing process. Many clients return to therapy periodically as new challenges arise or as they're ready to address deeper layers of their experience.
Understanding Attachment Patterns
Attachment-based therapy helps you understand how your specific attachment pattern developed as an intelligent adaptation to your early environment:
Secure Attachment
Secure attachment develops when caregivers are consistently responsive, emotionally available, and attuned to a child's needs. When children cry, they are comforted. When they're hungry, they're fed. When they're frightened, they're reassured. Through thousands of these interactions, children internalize the experience of being seen, understood, and cared for.
Children with secure attachment:
Become upset when caregivers leave but are easily comforted upon their return
Seek comfort from caregivers when distressed or afraid
Feel confident exploring their environment, knowing they have a secure base to return to
Develop the capacity to regulate their emotions with support from caregivers
As adults, securely attached individuals generally:
Feel comfortable with emotional intimacy and interdependence
Can balance autonomy and connection in relationships
Have developed capacity for emotional regulation and resilience
Can trust others and believe their needs matter
Navigate conflict and rupture with capacity for repair
Secure attachment provides the foundation for what researchers call "mentalizing"āthe capacity to understand your own mental states and those of others. This develops through repeated experiences of having an attuned caregiver reflect back your internal experience, helping you make sense of your feelings and the world around you.
Research shows that most functions of the prefrontal cortexāincluding emotional regulation, impulse control, and relational capacityāare outcomes of secure attachment. Importantly, these capacities can be developed later in life through corrective relational experiences, including in therapy.
Insecure Attachment Patterns
When early caregiving experiences are inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, frightening, or neglectful, children develop insecure attachment patterns as intelligent adaptations to their environment. These patterns represent the child's best attempt to get their needs met and maintain connection with caregivers, even when that connection is unreliable or painful.
It's crucial to understand that insecure attachment is not pathologyāit's adaptation. The strategies that develop in childhood made sense given the circumstances, even when they create challenges in adult relationships.
Avoidant Attachment (Dismissive Attachment)
Avoidant attachment develops when caregivers are consistently dismissive, emotionally unavailable, or uncomfortable with emotional expression. These caregivers may:
Disengage when the child reaches out for comfort or connection
Minimize or ridicule the child's emotional needs
Emphasize independence and self-reliance over interdependence
Become uncomfortable with or reject emotional vulnerability
Be physically present but emotionally distant
Children learn that reaching out for emotional support leads to rejection or dismissal. To adapt, they develop a strategy of self-reliance and emotional distance. They learn to suppress attachment needs and attempt to meet those needs themselves.
Children with avoidant attachment:
Show little distress when caregivers leave and may avoid them upon return
Don't seek comfort from caregivers when distressed
Appear emotionally self-sufficient and independent
May be more comfortable in their internal world than in connection with others
As adults, those with avoidant attachment patterns typically:
Feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness and vulnerability
Highly value independence and self-sufficiency
May intellectualize emotions rather than feeling them
Tend to withdraw or create distance when relationships become emotionally intense
May struggle to identify or express their emotional needs
Can appear emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to partners
Often minimize the importance of relationships while simultaneously feeling lonely
Underneath the apparent self-sufficiency, avoidantly attached individuals often carry deep longing for connection alongside fear that emotional needs will be met with rejection. The dismissive stance protects against the pain of reaching out and being turned away.
Anxious Attachment, Ambivalent/Preoccupied Attachment)
Anxious or ambivalent attachment develops when caregiving is inconsistent and unpredictable. The caregiver may be responsive and available at times, but unavailable or intrusive at others. This inconsistency often occurs when:
Caregivers struggle with addiction, being available when sober but unavailable in altered states
Parents experience mental health challenges like depression or anxiety that affect their availability
Caregivers are preoccupied with their own needs, sometimes enmeshed and over-involved, other times neglectful
Parents respond based on their own emotional state rather than the child's needs
The child never develops confidence that their caregiver will be there when needed. To adapt, they become hypervigilant to signs of availability or abandonment, amplifying their attachment behaviors to increase the likelihood of getting needs met.
Children with anxious attachment:
Become extremely distressed when caregivers leave
Are difficult to soothe upon the caregiver's return, remaining clingy and distressed
Are preoccupied with the caregiver's availability
Display ambivalenceāboth seeking comfort and resisting it when offered
As adults, those with anxious attachment patterns typically:
Experience intense fear of abandonment or rejection
Require frequent reassurance about relationships
May become preoccupied with relationships and partners' availability
Feel anxious when not in close contact with attachment figures
Can be perceived as "needy" or "clingy" by partners
May engage in protest behaviors (seeking attention through conflict) when feeling disconnected
Experience emotional dysregulation, with feelings becoming overwhelming quickly
May self-sabotage intimacy despite desperately wanting closeness
Anxiously attached individuals are often highly attuned to their partners and relational dynamics, but this hypervigilance comes from chronic uncertainty about whether their needs will be met. Their behavior can appear unreliableāavailable and seeking closeness one moment, then rejecting connection the nextāreflecting the inconsistency they experienced in childhood.
Disorganized Attachment
Disorganized attachment is the most complex pattern and is strongly correlated with developmental trauma and complex PTSD. This pattern develops when the caregiver is a source of both comfort and fearāthe person the child needs for survival is also a source of threat.
Disorganized attachment develops when caregivers are:
Frightened of the child:
Backing away physically when the child has needs
Displaying a frightened or startled look
Not responding to the childāappearing flat, numb, or collapsed
Operating in flight or freeze mode in response to the child's needs
Frightening to the child:
Looming over the child or being physically intrusive
Using attacking postures or sudden movements
Engaging in aggressive teasing, mocking, or humiliation
Displaying emotional volatilityāgoing from calm to rage suddenly
Threatening or enacting physical abuseāshaking, hitting, pushing
Operating in fight mode
This creates an impossible bind for the child: the nervous system is wired to seek proximity to the caregiver when frightened, but the caregiver is the source of fear. There is no organized strategy that can resolve this dilemma. The child cannot approach (because the caregiver is frightening) and cannot flee (because they're dependent on the caregiver for survival).
Children with disorganized attachment:
Display contradictory or confused behaviors around caregivers
May freeze, appear dazed, or display disoriented behaviors
Show fear of the caregiver while also seeking proximity
May engage in controlling or role-reversed behaviors (attempting to care for the parent)
Often dissociate when overwhelmed
As adults, those with disorganized attachment patterns typically:
Experience intense fear of both intimacy and abandonment simultaneously
Want connection desperately while being terrified of it
Struggle with emotional dysregulation and may experience rapid mood shifts
Have difficulty trusting others and themselves
May engage in chaotic relationship patterns, pursuing connection then fleeing when it's offered
Often dissociate under relational stress
May have disrupted sense of self or experience themselves as fragmented
Can appear unpredictable in relationships, oscillating between anxious and avoidant strategies
Disorganized attachment often underlies complex presentations including borderline personality features, dissociative disorders, and complex PTSD. The absence of an organized strategy for managing attachment needs can result in what appears as behavioral or emotional "chaos," but is actually the nervous system's attempt to navigate an impossible situation.
Adults with disorganized attachment have often developed sophisticated dissociative capacities as a way of managing the overwhelm of needing and fearing the same person. Different parts of self may hold different attachment needs, some parts desperately seeking connection while others maintain hypervigilance against threat.
The Impact of Rupture Without Repair
An important concept in understanding attachment patterns is the role of rupture and repair. Minor disconnections and misattunements happen in all relationships, including secure ones. What distinguishes secure from insecure attachment is not the absence of rupture, but the consistent experience of repair.
When ruptures occur, a caregiver misunderstands a need, responds with frustration, or is temporarily unavailableāwhat matters is whether the caregiver then acknowledges the disconnection, attunes to the child's distress, and works to restore the relationship. This process teaches children that:
Disconnection is temporary and can be repaired
Their feelings about the rupture matter and deserve attention
Relationships can withstand conflict and grow stronger through working through difficulties
They have agency in relationshipsātheir responses influence outcomes
In contrast, children who experience chronic rupture without repair learn that disconnection means permanent damage, that their hurt doesn't matter, and that there's no point in communicating their needs. This becomes embedded in their attachment patterns and relational templates.
In childhood, many people with complex trauma experienced ruptures without repair. Caregivers may have been unable to acknowledge mistakes, apologize, or attend to the child's distress after disconnection. This creates implicit beliefs that ruptures mean permanent damage or that one's hurt doesn't matter.
In attachment-based therapy, ruptures become opportunities for healing. When misattunements occurāand they willāthey can be named, explored, and repaired. This process demonstrates that:
Conflict and disconnection don't mean the end of relationship
Your feelings and perceptions matter and deserve to be heard
Repair is possible and relationships can grow stronger through working through difficulties
You can have needs, express them, and have them met
The experience of rupture and repair within the therapeutic relationship provides a template for healthier relational patterns outside of therapy.
Attachment Patterns Are Adaptive, Not Fixed
It's essential to understand that:
Attachment patterns are adaptations: They represent intelligent strategies for managing relationships given the circumstances of early life. What appears as "dysfunction" in adult relationships often made perfect sense in the family of origin.
Patterns can be context-dependent: You may display different attachment patterns in different relationships or situations. Someone might be securely attached with friends but avoidant with romantic partners, or anxious in intimate relationships but secure at work.
Attachment patterns exist on a spectrum: Most people don't fit neatly into one category. You might have predominantly secure attachment with some avoidant tendencies, or primarily anxious attachment that becomes disorganized under stress.
Patterns can change: Through corrective relational experiencesāincluding in therapyāit's possible to develop what researchers call "earned secure attachment." The brain retains neuroplasticity throughout life, allowing for the development of new relational capacities even when early experiences were marked by insecurity or trauma.
Understanding your attachment pattern is not about labeling yourself, but about developing compassion for how you learned to navigate relationships and recognizing that new patterns are possible. The experience of rupture and repair within the therapeutic relationship provides a template for healthier relational patterns outside of therapy. A critical component of attachment-based therapy is the understanding that rupturesāmoments of disconnection, misunderstanding, or misattunementāare inevitable in any relationship, including the therapeutic relationship. What matters most is not perfect attunement, but the capacity to repair.
Working with Dissociation in Attachment-Based Therapy
Dissociation is an adaptive survival response that often develops when relational trauma is chronic and overwhelming. When children cannot escape physically, they escape psychologically, disconnecting from thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity.
Attachment-based therapy addresses dissociation by:
Recognizing dissociation as an intelligent protective response rather than pathology
Building capacity for presence and embodiment at a pace your nervous system can tolerate
Working collaboratively with dissociative parts from a framework of internal cooperation
Supporting communication and connection between parts of self that developed to manage different aspects of experience
Gradually increasing your window of tolerance for difficult emotions and sensations
Work with dissociation requires specialized training and a trauma-informed approach that prioritizes safety and pacing. The goal is not to eliminate dissociative responses, but to develop more choice about when and how they occur.
Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters
In attachment-based therapy, the relationship between you and your therapist is not just a backdrop for treatment, it is the treatment. Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is the strongest predictor of positive outcomes in therapy.
For individuals with complex trauma, the therapy relationship provides an opportunity to:
Experience consistent, attuned care from someone who is reliable and non-judgmental
Practice being seen, heard, and validated in your full humanity
Navigate ruptures and repairs in a safe relationship, learning that conflict doesn't mean abandonment
Develop new neural pathways for connection and co-regulation
Internalize a sense of worthiness and belonging
This is why finding a therapist with whom you feel a genuine connection is essential. The safety and trust you build together creates the foundation for all other healing work.
What People Experience Through Attachment-Based Therapy
Healing attachment wounds is a gradual, nonlinear process. While everyone's journey is unique, clients who engage in attachment-based relational therapy often report experiencing meaningful shifts in several key areas:
Increased Capacity for Emotional Regulation
Many people notice that emotions that once felt overwhelming become more manageable. Rather than being flooded by feelings or completely shut down, they develop a wider window of toleranceāthe ability to experience difficult emotions without becoming dysregulated. They report:
Being able to stay present with uncomfortable feelings rather than immediately dissociating or becoming overwhelmed
Having more choice in how they respond to emotional triggers
Experiencing emotions as information rather than as threats
Developing the capacity to self-soothe and co-regulate with others
This doesn't mean difficult emotions disappear, but that you develop the internal resources to be with them without being overtaken by them.
Greater Sense of Safety in Relationships
As attachment patterns shift, many clients experience a fundamental change in how relationships feel. They report:
Reduced hypervigilance around others' emotions and availability
Ability to trust that relationships can withstand conflict and repair
Less fear of abandonment or engulfment
Capacity to recognize trustworthy people and situations
Feeling less compelled to repeat familiar but painful relationship dynamics
Ability to set boundaries without intense guilt or fear
Increased comfort with both intimacy and appropriate distance
Clients often describe this as finally being able to "let their guard down" or feeling like they can be themselves in relationships without constant self-monitoring.
More Integrated Sense of Self
For those who experienced dissociation or fragmentation, attachment-based therapy often supports greater internal cohesion. People describe:
Feeling more "whole" or like the different parts of themselves are working together
Reduced internal conflict between parts with competing needs
Better understanding of why different parts developed and what they were protecting
Increased internal compassion and reduced self-criticism
More continuity in their sense of self across different contexts
Ability to access their own wisdom and resources more readily
Embodied Presence and Body Connection
Many clients who experienced developmental trauma report having been disconnected from their bodies for years or decades. Through somatic attachment work, they often experience:
Increased ability to sense what's happening in their body
Recognition of bodily sensations as information rather than threats
Feeling more "at home" in their physical self
Reduced chronic tension, pain, or numbing
Ability to use body-based resources for regulation
More pleasure and aliveness in physical experience
Clients describe this as "coming back into my body" after years of existing primarily in their head or feeling entirely disconnected from physical experience.
Capacity for Vulnerability and Authentic Connection
As the therapeutic relationship provides experiences of safe vulnerability, many clients find they can extend this capacity into other relationships. They report:
Being able to express needs and ask for support
Sharing their authentic experience without excessive shame or fear
Allowing themselves to be seen and known by others
Experiencing genuine intimacy rather than performing connection
Feeling deserving of care and consideration
Taking appropriate risks in relationships
Different Relationship to Triggers and Reactivity
While triggers may not disappear entirely, many clients experience a significant shift in how they respond to them. They describe:
Being able to recognize when they're triggered without being completely overtaken
Having space between stimulus and response
Ability to identify what's happening in the present versus what belongs to the past
Reduced intensity and duration of triggered states
Capacity to communicate about being triggered rather than acting out or shutting down
Fewer shame spirals after reactive moments
Increased Self-Compassion
Perhaps one of the most profound shifts people experience is developing compassion for themselves and their adaptations. This includes:
Understanding their responses as intelligent survival strategies rather than character flaws
Reduced self-blame for what happened to them or how they coped
Ability to hold both pain and strength in their story
Speaking to themselves with more kindness, especially during difficult moments
Recognizing their inherent worthiness regardless of their history
Capacity for Repair After Rupture
Many clients describe this as one of the most transformative aspects of attachment-based therapy. They report:
No longer experiencing disconnection or conflict as catastrophic
Ability to initiate repair conversations in relationships
Trusting that ruptures can strengthen relationships rather than damage them irreparably
Less avoidance of necessary but difficult conversations
Feeling empowered to address misattunements rather than silently suffering
Changes Often Emerge Gradually
It's important to note that these changes typically don't happen suddenly or all at once. Healing attachment wounds is more like a spiral than a straight lineāyou may revisit similar themes at deeper levels as your capacity increases. Many clients describe the process as:
Initially feeling worse before feeling better, as previously numbed pain becomes accessible
Experiencing periods of integration between periods of active processing
Noticing small shifts in daily life before recognizing larger patterns have changed
Having moments of profound insight alternating with periods of feeling stuck
Developing trust in the process even when progress isn't linear
The timeline varies significantly between individuals. Some people notice meaningful changes within months, while for othersāparticularly those with extensive developmental traumaāthe work unfolds over years. What matters most is not the speed of change, but the direction and your increasing capacity for the life and relationships you want.
The Work Continues Beyond Therapy
Attachment-based therapy provides a foundation and builds capacities, but the work of integration continues in your daily life. Many clients describe ongoing growth through:
Practicing new relational patterns in their relationships
Continuing to work with their parts and internal system
Maintaining somatic practices that support regulation
Engaging in relationships that reinforce secure attachment
Returning to therapy periodically when new layers emerge or during transitions
The goal is not perfection or the absence of difficulty, but rather developing the resilience, flexibility, and relational capacity to navigate life's challenges from a more secure foundation. What you gain through this work becomes a resource you carry with youāa different way of being with yourself and others that continues to develop long after formal therapy concludes.
Who Can Benefit from Attachment-Based Therapy?
Attachment-based relational therapy may be helpful if you:
Experienced emotional neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or frightening caregivers in childhood
Struggle with patterns in relationships that feel repetitive and difficult to change
Experience intense fear of abandonment or discomfort with emotional closeness
Find it difficult to regulate emotions or often feel overwhelmed by feelings
Struggle with trusting others or allowing yourself to be vulnerable
Experience dissociation, feeling disconnected from your body or having gaps in memory
Have a sense of different parts of yourself with conflicting needs or responses
Find that traditional talk therapy hasn't addressed the deeper relational wounds
Want to develop more secure, satisfying relationships but don't know how
This approach is particularly relevant for adults who experienced developmental traumaāchronic, relational trauma during critical developmental periods that affected their sense of self and capacity for connection
What clients often experience through this work
While every person's experience is unique, here are some common themes from what clients describe:
"I finally understand why I've been the way I've been in relationships. It's not that I'm brokenāI was just doing what I needed to do to survive. And now I get to choose something different."
"I used to feel like I was watching my life from outside myself. Now I actually feel like I'm living it. I'm present in a way I've never been before."
"Conflict with my partner doesn't send me into a panic anymore. We can have a disagreement and I actually trust we'll work through it. That's completely new for me."
"I have parts of myself I used to be terrified of or ashamed of, and now I understand they were trying to protect me. They're not my enemies, they're trying to help. Everything feels more workable now."
"I spent so much of my life feeling like I was too much or not enough. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm allowed to just be myself, and that's actually okay."
What to Expect in therapy with me:
I don'tā¦
Force processing before your nervous system has adequate capacity
Believe in quick-fix approaches for complex developmental trauma
Focus primarily on diagnosis or labels rather than your lived experience
Take an expert stance where I hold all the answers
Rush the process of establishing safety and stabilization
Work from a one-size-fits-all treatment protocol
I doā¦
Utilize a trauma-informed, phased approach that prioritizes safety and pacing
Work collaboratively, recognizing you as the expert on your own experience
Integrate somatic (body-based) awareness with relational and cognitive work
Attend to what's happening in the present moment, including in our relationship
Recognize your adaptations as intelligent survival responses rather than pathology
Speak authentically about my own process and what I notice
Address ruptures openly when they occur
Adapt my approach to your unique nervous system and needs
Attachment-based therapy is most effective when sessions are regular and consistent, typically weekly or fortnightly, particularly in the beginning. The frequency can be adjusted based on what works for you and where you are in the therapeutic process.
FAQs About Attachment-Based Therapy
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Attachment-based therapy is a relational approach that addresses how early experiences with caregivers shaped your capacity for emotional regulation, sense of self, and patterns in relationships. It provides corrective relational experiences through the therapeutic relationship itself, supporting the development of earned secure attachment. This approach integrates attachment theory with contemporary neuroscience and trauma treatment frameworks.
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While traditional talk therapy often focuses on insight and cognitive understanding, attachment-based therapy recognizes that attachment patterns are held implicitly in the nervous system and body. This approach emphasizes the therapeutic relationship as the primary vehicle for healing, works with somatic experience and nervous system regulation, and addresses developmental trauma through phased, trauma-informed treatment. The goal is not just to understand your patterns cognitively, but to experience different relational possibilities in your body and nervous system.
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Healing attachment wounds and developmental trauma is not a linear process with a predetermined timeline. The duration depends on factors including the nature and chronicity of early trauma, current support systems and resources, your nervous system's capacity for processing, and your specific goals for therapy. Many clients engage in longer-term work spanning months to years, as we're addressing patterns that developed over your entire developmental period. Some return periodically as new layers of experience become available to work with.
That said, SP requires some baseline capacity to notice and remain present with internal experience. If you're currently experiencing significant dissociation, overwhelming emotional flooding, or acute crisis, building stabilization skills first may be recommended before engaging in trauma processing. An initial consultation helps determine whether this approach aligns with your current needs and capacities.
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Yes. Research demonstrates that attachment patterns can shift through corrective relational experiences, a process called developing "earned secure attachment." While early patterns create strong tendencies, the brain retains neuroplasticity throughout lifeāthe capacity to form new neural pathways. Through consistent experience of secure, attuned relationship in therapy, and practice of new relational capacities in daily life, it's possible to develop more flexible, secure ways of relating even when childhood experiences were marked by insecure attachment or trauma.
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Yes. Dissociation is a common response to developmental trauma and often co-occurs with disorganized attachment. Treatment utilizes frameworks that understand dissociation as adaptive, working collaboratively with different parts of self and supporting gradual integration. This includes approaches like Trauma and the Struggle to be Present (TIST), and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. Work with dissociation requires careful pacing and must occur within the context of adequate stabilization and nervous system capacity.The economic advantage is also compelling: intensive therapy can decrease treatment time significantly compared to traditional weekly sessions.
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Many people don't arrive at therapy with a clear understanding of their attachment pattern, and that's completely normal. Part of the therapeutic process involves exploring how early experiences shaped your relational tendencies. Additionally, attachment patterns can shift depending on context, you might display different patterns in different relationships or situations. The therapeutic relationship itself provides rich material for understanding your attachment dynamics as they arise in real time.
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Attachment patterns and trauma are held not just in our thoughts and memories, but in our bodies and nervous systems. Somatic approaches work with bodily sensations, movements, and physiological regulation to address trauma and attachment wounds at their roots. This includes tracking sensations and impulses in the body, building capacity for interoceptive awareness (sensing what's happening inside), and supporting nervous system regulation through embodied resources. Approaches like Somatic Experiencing and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy integrate naturally with attachment-focused work.
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While attachment-based therapy is supported by substantial research and clinical experience, it's important to understand its limitations and areas of critique:
Cultural considerations: Attachment theory was developed primarily within Western, individualistic cultural contexts. Attachment patterns that appear "insecure" in Western frameworks may be adaptive and functional in cultures with different values around interdependence, family structure, and child-rearing practices. Therapists must consider cultural context when applying attachment frameworks.
Time and resource intensive: Attachment-based work for complex developmental trauma typically requires longer-term therapy, which may not be accessible to everyone due to financial, time, or practical constraints. Brief treatment models may be insufficient for addressing deeply embedded relational patterns.
Not appropriate for acute crisis: This approach is designed for addressing chronic, developmental issues rather than acute mental health crises. Individuals experiencing active suicidal ideation, psychosis, severe eating disorders, or active substance dependence typically require more intensive levels of care before attachment-focused therapy is appropriate.
Potential for re-traumatization: If not conducted by adequately trained clinicians using trauma-informed, phased approaches, exploring attachment trauma can risk overwhelming the nervous system or re-creating dynamics of the original trauma. This underscores the importance of working with therapists specifically trained in complex trauma and attachment.
Risk of pathologizing adaptive responses: Some critiques note that attachment frameworks can inadvertently pathologize survival responses that were adaptive given the circumstances. The language of "insecure" attachment can feel stigmatizing. Contemporary approaches emphasize understanding attachment patterns as intelligent adaptations rather than deficits.
Overemphasis on early childhood: While early experiences are significant, some critics argue that attachment-based approaches may overemphasize childhood at the expense of recognizing ongoing trauma, systemic oppression, and current relational experiences that continue to shape attachment patterns throughout life.
Limited evidence for some populations: Most attachment research has been conducted with specific populations, and there's less empirical evidence for how these frameworks apply across diverse presentations, including neurodivergent individuals, those with severe mental illness, or people from non-Western cultural backgrounds.
These limitations don't negate the value of attachment-based approaches, but they highlight the importance of working with clinicians who apply these frameworks thoughtfully, consider contextual and cultural factors, and integrate attachment work with other evidence-based approaches as needed.
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The initial session is an opportunity for us to meet and determine if we're a good fit for working together. You'll share what brought you to therapy and what you're hoping to address. I'll ask questions to understand your history, current challenges, and goals. We'll also begin to establish the foundation of our therapeutic relationship. It's normal to feel nervous, and you're welcome to share as much or as little as feels comfortable. The first session is also your opportunity to ask questions about my approach, training, and how we might work together.
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Yes. Online therapy via secure video platform can be effective for attachment-based work. Many clients appreciate being able to engage in therapy from the safety and comfort of their own environment, where they have access to their own resources and supports. The therapeutic relationship can develop just as effectively through consistent online sessions as it does in person.
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Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is the strongest predictor of positive outcomes in therapy. It's essential that you feel a sense of connection, trust, and safety with your therapist. During our initial consultation or first session, notice how you feel in the conversation. Do you feel heard and understood? Does my approach resonate with what you're looking for? If at any point you feel we're not the right fit, that's valuable information and I'm happy to provide referrals to other clinicians.
Ready to begin healing your attachment wounds?
You've survived circumstances that required tremendous adaptation and resilience. Now, you have the opportunity to move beyond survival and develop the secure relational foundation you deserved from the beginning.
Attachment-based therapy recognizes both the pain of what you experienced and the wisdom of how you adapted. Through a secure therapeutic relationship, somatic awareness, and carefully paced exploration, you can rewire the neural pathways that keep old patterns active and develop new capacities for connection, regulation, and embodied presence.
This work is not easy, and it's not quick. It requires time to develop the capacity to face the wounds you've carried and to allow yourself to be seen in the vulnerable process of healing. But on the other side of this work is the possibility of relationships that feel safe, emotions that feel manageable, and a sense of being at home in your own body.
If you're ready to explore how attachment-based therapy might support your healing, I invite you to reach out.